In fifth grade I endeavored to read The Fellowship of the Ring in order to earn more AR points (oh the nerdiness of me). By the time I finished, I felt exhausted. Tolkien had dragged me step by step through a plot line where short periods of excitement were bordered by long trudges, hunger, and random songs in elfish. Although his method of writing more accurately describes normal life (work, sleep, school, random adventure, work, sleep, school), we all know the movies were better.
Anyway, if someone were to take the last couple weeks of my life and turn it into a movie, this is what would make the screen play cut (and even then, you may still feel like changing the channel to something more stimulating...like golf :) ):
The Defeat of the Dreadful Dragon, Debt (of the Honda variety)
Yes, after a year and half of saving (plus making monthly payments) we have paid off the Honda Civic. O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! We chortled in our joy! I know Debt has brothers, uncles and second cousins that will try and attack us in the future, but for now we are free.
The Ongoing War with Rhinovirus
I normally am a ridiculously healthy person. I constantly stand in awe of my immune system as it withstands the flu, fevers, and all the nastiness of the hospital year after year. But like all great heroes, it does have an Achilles heel--the common cold. Robb caught a minor version a couple of weeks ago and despite a strict cheek-kisses-only policy, it got me too...except, as usual, it mutated into something twice as strong with an endurance that makes Lance Armstrong look like a pansy.
I'm sporting an incredibly attractive yellow mask at work to keep my poor patients, who have enough health problems as it is, from catching something new.
The Last of the Seminoles
(Robb did not appreciate how I described his team's season of flag football, so he agreed to write this section)
As previously stated, Lakin's completely unfounded characterization of the quality and commitment of the 141st Ward Seminoles football team has necessitated my writing on her behalf.
The Seminoles (pronounced Seh-mee-noh-lehs) bounced back from a hard-fought 0-5 regular season to open the second round of the playoffs with a spectacular win over the mysterious "Team 217." The scoring effort was led by Ryan with two rushing TDs and one passing TD. Kade also scored on a beautiful 20-yard interception return to seal the deal. The first win of the season couldn't come at a better time, propelling the Seminoles to the Sweet 16.
That win set up their next tournament match-up with the ever-flatulent "Team Bean." The Beanos were unstoppable in their previous tournament appearance, scoring on every possession of the game. They entered today's match-up coming off an easy roll of 139th Ward. Today's game was a story of defense on both sides of the ball. Team Bean struck first with a long, slow march down the length of the field and a touchdown. The Seminoles had a chance to counter with a sustained drive all the way to the 3 yard line, only to be picked off on the next play after Ryan was blitzed and the screen dump missed its target. The first half ended 6-0 in favor of the Beanpoles. The second half saw another hard fought Team Bean score after Robb failed to sack the passer in time on a cornerback blitz. With time running out, the Seminoles once again reached the red zone only to be picked off after a questionable no-call illegal rush. Time expired on the ensuing Beanstalk possession, leaving the score 12-0, Beanie Babies.
The real story-line of the game came from Cankles McLoudmouth and his incessant whining to the refs on every play. Yes, every play. It was apparent to everyone present that he had no idea how to play football. We were all dumber for having listened to him speak. He was escorted off the field by campus police late in the second half for general idiocy. (Okay so I made that last sentence up, but it wouldn't have surprised me, given his overall lack of personal hygiene and moral scruples.)
Robb waxed a little more eloquently on his post than I was expecting, so I'll stop here :)